Is this your First Time Seeing Les Miserables?

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Answered by: Aaron, An Expert in the Broadway Category
Then Welcome, Friend!

Les Miserables has finally crept it's way on your plate, has it? Consider yourself lucky

I dismissed this show for most of my life, and only recently have experienced the game changer that is your Les Mis First Time!

I really enjoyed myself; but I made some rookie mistakes I feel could have been avoided if I had just a little fore-guidance.



So now that i'm obviously an expert on it, I'd thought i'd share some tips on popping your Les Mis- *ahem* losing your Les Mis virginity.

I hope you're wearing something cute, cause here we go:

1. Breathe.



You're in for a long ride, and you are gonna need ALL of the oxygen. No seriously, breathe for a second.

2. Find your seat. Wait-

1a. Wine.

If you're old enough to do this, do this. Be sure to drink your wine BEFORE you sit, or you will have messy wine pants/skirt/skort/dress/culottes/Capezios.

While you're drinking, contemplate just WHY this musical might be called Les Miserables.

3. The lights go down.

Do not say,"YAAAAAAAS!!" It's like the only time i'll ever tell you not to do this.

4. Shut up.

Don't ask questions. Listen and watch.

Listen for the sound of your own sobs echoing throughout the theater. That might surprise you. "I'm not crying, YOU'RE CRYING!"

Watch as this epic tale unfolds itself around you.

4a. Forreal, SHHH!!!

Don't say," Oh THAT's where that song comes from" cause once you start that, you really won't stop with the talking back. It'll be automatic, like a tic. You'll be worse than the doo-wop girls in Little Shop, "You got a point!", "She got a Problem!" Alaaaaaaaarm goes off at seven- But I digress. Close your mouth.

5.Intermission.

If you didn't listen to me about the wine BEFORE sitting, you now have wine jeans/capris/legs/yogapants. Collect the pile of tissues on your lap that others have gifted you during the first act, and use them to wipe up your dignity. Stop saying,"it's not her fault" over and over again. Go get some water from the cute little fountain. Get Thee to the bar. Drink ya juice Shelby, drink ya juice.

6. Breathe again, Bah-reathe again.

You're feeling things. Emotions are natural. You're a human.This is your first time seeing Les Miserables. It is gonna be okay....

7. No it's not.

8. Go see Act II.

I'm- I just can't with this act. Insert Bjork reference here.

9. End of show.

If you've made it this far. Be so proud of yourself. Stand the heck up if you can. Clap it out. Let them HAVE it! OK great. Stop clapping. No, Stop; because everyone else has stopped and no one's on stage anymore, and the orchestra finished maybe ten minutes ago. Yeah, the work lights are on. Go to the bathroom before you see anyone. Stare in the mirror at your puffiness and wine. Realize All the Things. Have a gratitude session with your ancestors. Collect your awesome and go to the after party. Drink Coffee. Seriously, stop crying. No, it IS you this time.

10. Go home and *listen to the 10th anniversary Cast album of Les Miserables and cry yourself to sleep.

YOU DID IT!! You MADE IT THROUGH YOUR FIRST TIME SEEING LES MISERABLES !! Now go again, and bring someone!! Or don't...

*Don't watch the movie, before or after. Just Ever.

You're Welcome,

Aaron

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